In general it is stunning what information people put on their resumes, there are a lot of things that people do not want to know about you. They really just want to know if you can work, do good things, and help the company. It is irreverent that you have a pet ferret, or four cats, or that you can whistle while rubbing your budda belly. Yet here are more things not to put on your resume:

Applicant attached a letter from her mother.

Applicant specified that his availability was limited because Friday, Saturday and Sunday was “drinking time.”

Applicant explained that he works well nude.

Applicant explained an arrest by stating, “We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.”

Applicant drew a picture of a car on the outside of the envelope and said it was the hiring manager’s gift.

Applicant explained a gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over the death of his cat for three months. Source: MSN Careers

Some of this just screams get a life, or a life style. Yet people honestly think that this is what hiring folks care about. So for the uninitiated, here is the hiring life cycle as we see it.

Search the boards praying for a job description that is realistic, looks entertaining, and supports the lifestyle that you currently enjoy or better.

Warm up the resume and don’t lie on it then mail it in

Some nameless faceless person looks through the resume looking for key words, and key words only, they will not read it at first, time spent on this activity about 30 seconds

If it makes the first cut because you have the right keywords, they might look over it again matching it against the job description, do you really have what they are looking for.

The resume is sent to some overworked manager somewhere in the food chain to see if it would be a good fit, time taken on this exercise somewhere between 1 to 4 weeks. Hiring manager may never get to your resume because they are just looking for 2 or 3 people to interview, you might be last in the stack.

People are called in to interview, this may or may not be a good experience, they may or may not find a candidate, if it forks here, then it is back to the stack or offer letters are made. Sometimes this activity comes in parallel in that offers have gone out and they are also setting up the next round of candidates.

IF the offer is accepted by the first round, then all interviews made will then be canceled, they will tell you it was canceled, but they might not tell you why. Ii is nothing personal, you just ended up in the wrong place on the stack of resumes

You either work, or keep on looking for the perfect job.

That is just the way that it seems to work. We did not include your resume languishing in the database of other candidates for years, or other impediments to finding a job, it is not an easy process, nor is it a very fun one, but money is money, and lifestyles still need to be taken care of.